If I were an agent...

TheYA MISFITS posed a question this week... If you were an agent, what would you want in your submissions?
 

I took this question seriously. As a writer hoping to land a contract in this lifetime, it's easy to use my writer's imagination and take out my frustrations on all of the "No Thank You" agents (I don't really do that) and not look at the rejection from their perspective.

But, if the tables were turned, how would I make the decisions that could make or stymie a writer's career? I would be concerned what the "rejecteds" were imagining my untimely demise.
(I don't do this, just other authors I know do)

Attention authors I know: Shhhhhhh I wouldn't want any agents to know that if they reject me I will be smiling as I dream of replacing their carpet and toilet seats with sharpened Lego blocks. (muaaaaah haaa haaa)

If I were an agent for a day, I would:

• drink as much Starbucks as I wanted because I'd be getting a paycheck
• read MSs with my feet up on my desk
• gossip at the water cooler
...oh, wait! You wanted to know what I would do with the submissions on my desk...under my feet and my empty Starbucks cups...

OK, let me put my imaginary agent hat on!

I would be looking for:
• neat/clean presentation
• a query that is brief but clear and leaves me wanting more
• a well-developed idea
• a timely topic that is fresh or has a fresh twist
• an author who is willing to work hard to get his/her MS to its most impressive state
• an author with a passion for their topic/theme
• a MS that sells me on that passion
• ...and a freaking SNOT LOAD of Starbucks gift cards should accompany each submission

I don't think these expectations are too high. Do you?
Peace out!