Monday, August 25, 2014

MKB tells it all...

I've been a storyteller literally all my life and I've never been a very secretive person so, in 2007, when I discovered Mommy Blogging and saw how many hits and followers you get when you air your dirty laundry and Mommy chaos, I knew I'd found my gig.

Now, seven years later, I'm a published author and just because I wanted to do something a little different, I thought periodically I would share one of those stories with you.

So, here's a story from 2007, my kiddos were 10, 9 & 2.

Here's the story I like to call...

Why Stay At Home Moms are Constipated



(minor-TMI alert)
I get everyone onto the bus and coax my little man back inside with the promise of a lollipop so I can relieve the "urge" that is looming in my gut. Now, you must know that our other two had a strict rule to live by, "NO sugar until after lunch!" When the third came along - yeah, not so strict anymore - I just jump on whatever ploy works that day.

"Want some candy?"
"Then, please get off the dining room table."

"Want a donut?"
"You'll need to stop playing in the potty and wash your hands, then!"
He's onto me!

If I'd have had a bowl of sugar in my small powder room I would have given him a spoon just so I could have relieved myself in peace. But I wasn't thinking ahead I guess.
I briskly entered the throne room with a chubby little hand in mine, shut the door and took my seat as Queen of...(I'll spare you!) With that, I was apparently awarded a Jester and JEST he did!

He is a small 2 year old but he felt big as he lurched his body across the room, planted his hands on the lip of the pedestal sink, threw his feet to the pedestal and lifted. His little body became the shape of a "less-than" sign. He was eye to eye with me. He looked at me, giggled and jumped down.

Funny how nothing goes unnoticed when you are 32" tall. He headed right for the small stack of toilet paper in the corner. He and I began a sweet game of catch with one of the rolls. Fifteen years ago, I would never have imagined myself in the toilet-seat-shot-put Olympics. But, who does? I was just hoping to read something, anything in any one of the many untouched magazines in the bin by my feet.

Bored with catch he makes it his mission to build the Leaning Tower of TP. What a kick he gets out of himself when he makes it as tall as he is. I smile. How cute. But three seconds later I have become the center of a nuclear attack as there are toilet paper rolls bludgeoning me from all sides! What is it about stacks and piles that make toddlers evolve into SUPER DESTRUCTO MAN?! Another Mom-phenomenon that we will never figure out.

The dog pushes the door, that I thought was shut, open a bit ad tries to come in. I fling my body to the door and shut it. I have all the stimulation I need right now as my body has not relaxed enough to make this trip a DONE DEAL, yet.

And with that minor distraction, my son has decided to switch careers. SUPER DESTRUCTO MAN is now Kareem Abdul Juicebox as he makes a slam dunk with a roll of TP into the pedestal sink. Funny, I never saw that parallel...the powder room sink does look a bit like a basketball net. Huh.

After the huge bulk pack of toilet paper is dumped on the floor and he begins fishing in the trashcan and lunging for the toilet brush I decide...it is time to abort this mission.
We walk out together only to find that the dog has completely macerated the roll she must have grabbed when she tried to interrupt only minutes ago. It looks like she killed a bloodless poodle!

Well, the "urge" has passed....there's always tomorrow.

Somehow I don't think working moms deal with this discomfort. I can't imagine their co-workers climbing under the stall and wrapping them in toilet paper or playing pat-a-cake! They have the PLEASURE OF POOPING IN PEACE!!


I hope you enjoyed the story - look for more to come...and, no worries, they're not all TMI topics!
LOL!

Peace.

Friday, August 22, 2014

Join me over at Holly Hot Reads


Meet me over at Holly's Hot Reads today as I TAKE it OVER! :) Will be so  much fun!
Giveaways, trivia, get to know you fun and an EXCLUSIVE excerpt from SHIFT, my latest work-in-progress!

If you're here for the SCAVENGER HUNT, good luck!

Peace.

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

eFestival of Words 2014 Finalist


I couldn't be more honored to be nominated for these awards but today they announced the finalists and IN TOO DEEP has made it to the finals and needs your votes.

We are a finalist in the
BEST NEW ADULT NOVEL and BEST VILLAIN (Noah) categories!

I know there are tons of contests out there and people are winning them all the time, but the fact that this particular contest is for INDEPENDENT ebooks makes this a much BIGGER deal for those of us INDIES!

INDIE AUTHORS are growing in popularity and all you have to do is look at the list and see how MANY amazing talents are there.

I'd love it of you'd head over to the eFestival Category lists, register (it only takes a second and you don't have to accept any of the free offers at the end), and vote for your favorites.

Just click HERE and it will take you directly to the voting booths!

Good luck to all the amazing finalists!
<3 p="">

Saturday, June 21, 2014

Final Day of the ABOVE THE NOISE blog tour

I can not tell you how THRILLED I am with Book Plug Promotions! Heather ran my COVER REVEAL, my RELEASE DAY LAUNCH and my BLOG TOUR and everything has been so smooth and ...well, PERFECT! Her prices are so reasonable for all the work she puts into these details of her business! Most professional experience I've had as an author!
Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
Here's the list of BLOG TOUR STOPS this week...most of which were 4 & 5 star reviews which has me all giddy! The links will take you to each website so you can see reviews, excerpts, bonus scenes, character interviews and join the giveaways, etc.
Today's the last day - so do it NOW!

Dates to PostBlog NameBlog URLPost
Monday - June 16Illusionary Pleasurehttp://illusionarypleasure.wordpress.com/Bonus Scene
Monday - June 16thHere is some of what I readhttp://www.mywriterblog.com/whatiread/Promo Post
Monday - June 16thToot's Book Reviewshttp://tootsbookreviews.blogspot.comCharacter Interview
Monday - June 16thHEA Bookshelfhttp://heabookshelf.blogspot.comReview
Monday - June 16thA Love Affair With Bookshttp://www.aloveaffairwithbooks.com/Review and Excerpt
Monday - June 16thWicked Women Book Bloghttp://wickedwomenbookblogs.blogspot.com/Promo Post
Monday - June 16thLovin' Los Libroshttp://www.lovinloslibros.blogspot.comReview
Monday - June 16thRose's Book Bloghttp://rosecaceres.blogspot.comPromo Post
Monday - June 16thCollector of book boyfriendshttp://collectorofbookboyfriends.wordpress.com/Promo Post
Monday - June 16thTrinas Tantilising Tidbitshttp://trinastantilisingtidbits.blogspot.co.nzPromo Post
Monday - June 16thTrue Story Book Bloghttp://www.truestorybookblog.comPromo Post
Tuesday - June 17thTSK TSK What to Readhttp://www.tsktskwhattoread2.blogspot.comReview and Excerpt
Tuesday - June 17thBetween My Lineshttp://www.betweenmylines.comReview
Tuesday - June 17thhalos and horns book bloghttp://www.halosandhornsbookblog.blogspot.comReview and Excerpt
Tuesday - June 17thAgents of Romancehttp://www.agentsofromance.comReview and Excerpt
Tuesday - June 17thEbony and Ivory’s Book Harmonyhttp://ebonyandivorysbookharmony.blogspot.com/Promo Post
Wednesday - June 18thKindle Crack Book Reviewshttp://www.kindlecrack.netReview
Wednesday - June 18thSleep Deprived Book Lovershttp://sleepdeprivedbooklovers.blogspot.comReview and Excerpt
Wednesday - June 18thTrue Story Book Bloghttp://www.truestorybookblog.comPromo Post
Wednesday - June 18thBooks, Boys, & Badass Bloggetteshttp://BadassBloggettes.blogspot.comReview and Excerpt
Wednesday - June 18thWicked Readshttp://vkwickedreads.wordpress.com/Review and Excerpt
Wednesday - June 18thBookSkaterhttp://bookskater.blogspot.com/Promo Post
Wednesday - June 18thReview and Excerpthttp://www.kvlovesbooks.blogspot.co.ukReview and Excerpt
Thursday - June 19thDeal Sharing Auntwww.dealsharingaunt.blogspot.comPromo Post
Thursday - June 19thRumpled Sheets Bloghttp://rumpledsheetsblog.wordpress.com/Promo Post
Thursday - June 19thNaughty and Nice Book Blogwww.naughtyandnicebookblog.comReview & Excerpt
Friday - June 20thAshley's Book Cornerhttp://ashleysbookcorner.blogspot.com/Review and Excerpt
Friday - June 20thScandalous Book Bloghttp://scandalousbookblog.blogspot.co.uk/Review and Excerpt
Friday - June 20thShort and Sassy Book Blurbshttp://shortandsassybookblurbs.blogspot.com/Review and Excerpt
Friday - June 20thThe Boyfriend Bookmarkhttp://theboyfriendbookmark.comReview and Excerpt
Saturday  - June 21stAshley's Book Cornerhttp://ashleysbookcorner.blogspot.com/Review and Excerpt
Saturday  - June 21stLove Words And Bookshttp://lovewordsandbooks.comPromo Post
Saturday  - June 21stAnny bookshttp://httpswwwfacebookcomsexylmreftntnmn.weebly.comReview and Excerpt
Saturday  - June 21stSix Chicks and Their Love of BooksWww.sixchicksbooks.blogspot.comReview and Excerpt
Saturday  - June 21stLove N. Bookshttp://lovenbooks.comReview and Excerpt
Saturday  - June 21stwe stole your book boyfriendhttp://westoleyourbookboyfriend.weebly.com/Review and Excerpt
Saturday  - June 21stLiterary Meanderingshttp://www.literaryme.net/Promo Post
Saturday  - June 21stJessica Loves Bookshttp://www.jessicalovesbooks.comReview and Excerpt
Saturday  - June 21stLustful Literaturehttp://lustfulliterature.comReview and Excerpt
Saturday  - June 21stRead-Love-Blogwww.Read-Love-Blog.comReview and Excerpt
Saturday  - June 21stStick Girl Book Reviewshttps://www.stickgirlbookreviews@blogspot.comReview and Excerpt
Saturday  - June 21stHooked on Bookshttp://hookedonbooksforever.blogspot.com/Review
Saturday  - June 21stRockin' The Bookshelfhttp://www.rockinthebookshelf.netPromo Post

Now....onto the next book!



Monday, June 9, 2014

TOMORROW is RELEASE DAY for ABOVE THE NOISE


I can't believe it is happening tomorrow!
Tomorrow I have to actually SHARE Calon...ugh! He's been all mine for quite some time now. You got a little of him in ON SOLID GROUND but tomorrow you get ALL of him...ALL. OF. HIM.

Here's the final three countdown graphics! Enjoy!





Also, today I'm hosting a READERS BRUNCH over on my fb author page - all are welcome!
10am-noon EST

Peace.

Friday, June 6, 2014

The COUNTDOWN to CALON..

He's coming!

...and I've been behind in my blogging so I'm gonna catch you up!

We are at 4 days until the release of ABOVE THE NOISE!
But I'm gonna give you the countdown from 7...





IN TOO DEEP (book 1) was released ONE YEAR AGO TODAY!


ON SOLID GROUND (book 2) was released DECEMBER 3, 2013
ABOVE THE NOISE (book 3 - also a stand alone novel) will be released JUNE 10, 2014

That is all!
Time to party! I'm headed to sign at the INDIES INVADE PHILLY author signing tomorrow with 39 of the coolest authors ever! The event is SOLD OUT! Maybe I'll see you there!