Teaser Tuesday

I LOVE making teasers, have actually considered making a side-business of it...but not sure how that would go.

So, right now, when I'm procrastinating on my own writing...I make teasers for the IN TOO DEEP series.

Here are a few of the latest ones.

Roots & Crowns and Project Unbreakable

Sometimes you come across something you just have to have. You NEED it. You covet it.
In my case, that kind of passionate response usually revolves around food, tattoos or bracelets.

But, as I was doing research for Sexual Abuse Awareness month and working on some programming on the topic I came across Project Unbreakable...if you haven't checked it out, you must (Trigger WARNING: photos of rapist quotes could cause a trigger response in some people. ) As I became more and more intrigued by Grace Brown's brain child I also came across a company called Roots & Crowns out of Portland, Oregon.

Max at Roots & Crowns creates the most beautiful amulets that he fills with nature. Max creates each amulet specifically for each person, sometimes emailing or skyping numerous times with the customer to get a grasp of the specific herbs and flowers to include inside their amulet.

One of Max's recent facebook posts said, "I LOVE personalizing necklaces for custom-order. Getting to tap into the co-creative intention for the piece, and handwriting the scroll describing the included herbs---it's all such a lovely process."

Roots & Crowns is designing unbelievably inspiring amulets for Project Unbreakable which supports and brings light to the victims of sexual abuse and rape.

(photos courtesy of Roots and Crowns etsy shop)

CHECK THEM OUT HERE

Which brings me back to the things I COVET. In the photo above I am wearing my very own Project Unbreakable inspired Roots & Crowns amulet and I am so fuh-reaking in love with it! It's beautiful and so meaningful.

And Max's customer service was impeccable.

My new favorite etsy shop!

Kudos, Max Turk! In my eyes, you're a hero for spending your time blessing survivors with your talents and hard work.

Go book mark Roots & Crowns on Etsy and SHARE & LIKE their facebook page! Go!

Peace.

The Halls of Skin & Bone...

I've started re-posting a little bit from my former Mommy Blog. I'm getting a kick out of re-living all the chaos of having younger kiddos.

This was written after our first trip into Hollister...a.k.a The Halls of Skin & Bone.

Enjoy!

Today we did some school shopping. I got a babysitter and I took my older two to the mall.

I love the smell of Back-to-School!

Not the fact that the fruit of my loins will actually spend hours away from me 5 days a week (I hate that part) but just the tingly excitement of that first day. The new kids, new teachers, locker combinations, new notebooks, cute boys, being late to the class I didn't even sign up for but ended up being on my schedule, unexpectedly getting my period, tripping up the stairs in front of the boy I was planning on having a crush on that day and having egg salad soup at the bottom of my locker at luchtime.

Well, not ALL my memories are good ones I guess. But, I still get excited for the shopping!

On our trip, we went to all the stores that kids love: Children's Place, Old Navy, GAP and some department stores that Mom dragged them into in hopes of a good sale. But then I had the great idea to travel into a world unknown...Hollister.

I have never been able to figure out the fashion phenomenon of a NAME. What makes a name when it comes to fashion? How do the words GAP, ABERCROMBIE, AEROPOSTALE define multi-millions in sales? They are cool clothes, I enjoy the styles and quality but I have a strong feeling if they looked identical but were called SMITHSENSTRUBER they wouldn't be so cool!

So, we walk into Hollister - our first time. It's a dark and loud store. I actually felt like I was walking into a bar. That's how they sell clothes! You are squinting and can't see a thing and the music is so loud when you ask where to find the clothes that cost less than $400 you can't hear what the 4-year old sales girl who weighs 20 lbs. says. So, you grab up a couple things, head to the register, swipe your card and head for the nearest CVS for some Advil, Oil of Olay and Slim Fast.

I am not a name-dropper or someone who needs to have the latest name brand fashions
and I try to deter my children from feeling that is necessary. Oh, and knock-off designer purses don't count because they are not real.

But, I have shopped long enough to know that even the stores that cause you to take out a second mortgage just to outfit your three children for one day DO, in fact, sometimes have good sales. I just thought it would be cool for my first-time middle-schooler to have a Hollister T-shirt for school...I would do anything to give him a leg up on the sometimes cruel competition.

So, we walk in and head right for the clearance racks.

Of course, we had to pass the posters...ugh, the posters...what was this, the red light district? Are they SELLING SKIN in this store? Well, then why is so much of it showing?? The girls in the posters weigh approximately 14.5 ounces and have the slender shape of Gumby! Their apparent poster boy love interests have 6-pack abs that go the whole way dowwwwwwwwwn to a VERY TOO LOW waistline.

I was covering my daughter's eyes and blushing before we got past the cash register! I think I actually felt myself get fatter in this store. I could see the sales staff wasting away while I unbuttoned my shorts to relieve the pudge that was growing underneath my not-Hollister, mom clothing. I wanted to BARF. THEY needed to eat.

"C'mon, honey, have some fries, a milkshake, SOMETHING that will make you weigh more than my purse!"

I found some great sales after asking a nice kid for help. The kid who then walked us to the register because he had lost his voice from screaming "What's up?" and repeated directions to the Hollister-virgin customers all day.

I know, I know. I should not be school shopping for ME but I have to say, I got sucked into the Hollister haze and wanted to wear the word, too! Of course, that feeling quickly faded when I held up a t-shirts that could have doubled as a sock on this mom body.

They got shirts.

I got perfume and pretended each squirt would airbrush me to the size of that $@!#! poster girl!
Still squirting...

NOTHIN’!

Peace out, Mamas!

MKB tells it all...

I've been a storyteller literally all my life and I've never been a very secretive person so, in 2007, when I discovered Mommy Blogging and saw how many hits and followers you get when you air your dirty laundry and Mommy chaos, I knew I'd found my gig.

Now, seven years later, I'm a published author and just because I wanted to do something a little different, I thought periodically I would share one of those stories with you.

So, here's a story from 2007, my kiddos were 10, 9 & 2.

Here's the story I like to call...

Why Stay At Home Moms are Constipated

(minor-TMI alert)

I get everyone onto the bus and coax my little man back inside with the promise of a lollipop so I can relieve the "urge" that is looming in my gut. Now, you must know that our other two had a strict rule to live by, "NO sugar until after lunch!" When the third came along - yeah, not so strict anymore - I just jump on whatever ploy works that day.

"Want some candy?"

"Then, please get off the dining room table."

"Want a donut?"

"You'll need to stop playing in the potty and wash your hands, then!"
He's onto me!

If I'd have had a bowl of sugar in my small powder room I would have given him a spoon just so I could have relieved myself in peace. But I wasn't thinking ahead I guess.

I briskly entered the throne room with a chubby little hand in mine, shut the door and took my seat as Queen of...(I'll spare you!) With that, I was apparently awarded a Jester and JEST he did!

He is a small 2 year old but he felt big as he lurched his body across the room, planted his hands on the lip of the pedestal sink, threw his feet to the pedestal and lifted. His little body became the shape of a "less-than" sign. He was eye to eye with me. He looked at me, giggled and jumped down.

Funny how nothing goes unnoticed when you are 32" tall. He headed right for the small stack of toilet paper in the corner. He and I began a sweet game of catch with one of the rolls. Fifteen years ago, I would never have imagined myself in the toilet-seat-shot-put Olympics. But, who does? I was just hoping to read something, anything in any one of the many untouched magazines in the bin by my feet.

Bored with catch he makes it his mission to build the Leaning Tower of TP. What a kick he gets out of himself when he makes it as tall as he is. I smile. How cute. But three seconds later I have become the center of a nuclear attack as there are toilet paper rolls bludgeoning me from all sides! What is it about stacks and piles that make toddlers evolve into SUPER DESTRUCTO MAN?! Another Mom-phenomenon that we will never figure out.

The dog pushes the door, that I thought was shut, open a bit ad tries to come in. I fling my body to the door and shut it. I have all the stimulation I need right now as my body has not relaxed enough to make this trip a DONE DEAL, yet.

And with that minor distraction, my son has decided to switch careers. SUPER DESTRUCTO MAN is now Kareem Abdul Juicebox as he makes a slam dunk with a roll of TP into the pedestal sink. Funny, I never saw that parallel...the powder room sink does look a bit like a basketball net. Huh.

After the huge bulk pack of toilet paper is dumped on the floor and he begins fishing in the trashcan and lunging for the toilet brush I decide...it is time to abort this mission.

We walk out together only to find that the dog has completely macerated the roll she must have grabbed when she tried to interrupt only minutes ago. It looks like she killed a bloodless poodle!

Well, the "urge" has passed....there's always tomorrow.

Somehow I don't think working moms deal with this discomfort. I can't imagine their co-workers climbing under the stall and wrapping them in toilet paper or playing pat-a-cake! They have the PLEASURE OF POOPING IN PEACE!!

I hope you enjoyed the story - look for more to come...and, no worries, they're not all TMI topics!
LOL!

Peace.

Join me over at Holly Hot Reads

Meet me over at Holly's Hot Reads today as I TAKE it OVER! :) Will be so  much fun!
Giveaways, trivia, get to know you fun and an EXCLUSIVE excerpt from SHIFT, my latest work-in-progress!

If you're here for the SCAVENGER HUNT, good luck!

Peace.

The IN TOO DEEP series

eFestival of Words 2014 Finalist

I couldn't be more honored to be nominated for these awards but today they announced the finalists and IN TOO DEEP has made it to the finals and needs your votes.

We are a finalist in the
BEST NEW ADULT NOVEL and BEST VILLAIN (Noah) categories!

I know there are tons of contests out there and people are winning them all the time, but the fact that this particular contest is for INDEPENDENT ebooks makes this a much BIGGER deal for those of us INDIES!

INDIE AUTHORS are growing in popularity and all you have to do is look at the list and see how MANY amazing talents are there.

I'd love it of you'd head over to the eFestival Category lists, register (it only takes a second and you don't have to accept any of the free offers at the end), and vote for your favorites.

Just click HERE and it will take you directly to the voting booths!

Good luck to all the amazing finalists!
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