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1....When someone is being emotionally abused, they CAN'T "just walk away." Emotional abuse is a form of brainwashing in that the abus...er uses many methods to tear the victim to shreds. Being torn like this destroys self-esteem, self-worth and trust in one's own perceptions and self-concept. Over time, the victim loses all sense of self & personal value. The abuser strips the victim of everything that would make 'just walking away' an option.
2....Saying someone who's being emotionally abused cries too much is like telling someone who's physically abused that they bruise too easily. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is a result of abuse. PTSD happens because something too painful to deal with at that moment gets pushed away into a corner of the mind the victim can't easily access. Typically this is not a choice, it's the psyche's defense mechanism. So, when there's a trigger that pulls that situation out of nowhere, the brain can only process it as if it is happening right then, real time, because it hasn't been processed yet. Just like an amputee has phantom pains in a limb that's no longer there, abuse can be felt...FELT...when a certain song plays, a familiar scent is picked up, a word is spoken, or deep emotion is evoked. And, of course, everyone deals with the pain of abuse differently. Some act out in anger, some self-harm, some can handle more than most, some take their own lives and some cry. Who's too say how much is too much? What they've survived is TOO MUCH!
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When I hear/read these two comments it's obvious to me the person sharing their opinion (which they are fully entitled to) has not experienced the depth of pain that can pull the rug out from under you. For the rest of us who have, that rug is always moving and at any moment can knock us on our asses.
I don't care if you think Gracie cried too much...she's not real. But your best friend, your sister, your co-worker, your daughter is real and what she's going through is a HELL I hope you never experience. So, please be sensitive of things you don't have a reference for. Be kind. That's all. Just be kind.
SoapBox Alert: I love reading reviews of IN TOO DEEP & ON SOLID GROUND...the good and the bad ones. I take everything constructively and don't let my feelings get in the way, so I write this not as an author who doesn't like a certain comment about her books, but as someone who can't believe the lack of tolerance people have for others.
*****
*****
1....When someone is being emotionally abused, they CAN'T "just walk away." Emotional abuse is a form of brainwashing in that the abus...er uses many methods to tear the victim to shreds. Being torn like this destroys self-esteem, self-worth and trust in one's own perceptions and self-concept. Over time, the victim loses all sense of self & personal value. The abuser strips the victim of everything that would make 'just walking away' an option.
2....Saying someone who's being emotionally abused cries too much is like telling someone who's physically abused that they bruise too easily. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is a result of abuse. PTSD happens because something too painful to deal with at that moment gets pushed away into a corner of the mind the victim can't easily access. Typically this is not a choice, it's the psyche's defense mechanism. So, when there's a trigger that pulls that situation out of nowhere, the brain can only process it as if it is happening right then, real time, because it hasn't been processed yet. Just like an amputee has phantom pains in a limb that's no longer there, abuse can be felt...FELT...when a certain song plays, a familiar scent is picked up, a word is spoken, or deep emotion is evoked. And, of course, everyone deals with the pain of abuse differently. Some act out in anger, some self-harm, some can handle more than most, some take their own lives and some cry. Who's too say how much is too much? What they've survived is TOO MUCH!
*****
When I hear/read these two comments it's obvious to me the person sharing their opinion (which they are fully entitled to) has not experienced the depth of pain that can pull the rug out from under you. For the rest of us who have, that rug is always moving and at any moment can knock us on our asses.
I don't care if you think Gracie cried too much...she's not real. But your best friend, your sister, your co-worker, your daughter is real and what she's going through is a HELL I hope you never experience. So, please be sensitive of things you don't have a reference for. Be kind. That's all. Just be kind.
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